Humour On Race Day

Having ran hundreds of races, I came across many types of funny characteristic and personalities of runners. There are many type of runners and well, never judge a book by it’s cover. A fit and mascular young man might not run as fast as a middle-aged man with greying hair. A stout and heavy man has more speed than a skinny guy.

Some people run for fun. Some people just want to complete. Some really raced. If the race route has a u turn, we normally have a chance to see top runners in action. Some true athlete stride very gracefully. Some really squeeze out their power 101% and from their face, you can really see agony! Don’t know how they got the extra 1% power. Power-Gel maybe?

Top runners normally stand in front but, there is always somebody who think that they can “you know”, if they stay in front. When the pistol shoots, everybody dash out. Many hit the wall. “Koyak “lor.

Talking about running style, different runners have different styles. Some runners has big pace, some has small. Some basically are running on their toes. Some stump like an elephant. Some runners breath very loudly, even louder then when they snores at night. Some burp and some even fart. I tell you, I did have a big gulp of “durian” flavoured burp before. I wonder why he eats durian on a racing day. Maybe durian also gives power like chocolate.

But of all, there is one type of runners that is very dangerous. The type that like to spit. Most of these spitters know how to look behind before they do their job. But then, there is always somebody out there that spit at will. If you are not lucky, while overtaking, “salah-salah” he spit his venom, you don’t have to buy lottery anymore. Sure tak “kena” one.

Some guys runners cannot tahan. Bladder too full. Drank too much liquid. Have to let go. So ran to bushes and just shoot lah. Passers by would understand. But how about girls hah? How to shoot? I think they have to go deeper into the bushes. No one can see except some lucky monkey up in the tree.

Before the start of a race. You can see many runners lining up to”kencing’ and “berak”. If “kencing”, ok lah. Very fast. But how about “berak”? If not much time left how ah? Talking about that, I got a friend that fell into a manhole while searching for a good spot. Ha,ha… he finally found one.

There are also publicity seekers. Some come in sarongs. Some come in colourful wigs. Some wears a Malaysian flag. But whatever fashion it is, these runners normally add colours to our races. Hope one day I can see a runner wearing his red underwear outside.

Marathon and races are beautiful experiences. If you run and don’t participate in races, it is like eating Nasi Lemak without Sambal. Try it out and you will know that you fit somewhere. Don’t worry about position because you definitely won’t be the first nor the last. And don’t worry about the way you run because there is always people that runs funnier than you.

HAPPY RUNNING